On Annoying Albatross

On this particular day, the summer sun was hotter than it had ever been. Our favorite trio decided it was a perfect day for a game of freeze-tag.

"Well, who is going to be IT first?" asked Gus.

Nate stretched a paw toward Gator, but before he could, Booey had already made the tag.

"You are Gus!" shouted Booey as he ran into the woods. He galloped all the way.

Nate was right behind him. He quickly caught up and passed up the much slower skunk. For Booey Skunk, this didn't mean much, because Gus was the slowest of all.

Gus grumbled to himself as he stood alone in the grove folded his arms across his chest and counted to ten.

"Ready or not, here I come!" he shouted, then bounced off into the woods. As he walked around the forest, he spotted Nate climbing a tree.

"Come down!" he called out.

"Nope."

"Then I'm coming after you!"

"Mmm-hmmm sure," replied Nate, but when he looked down, he saw that Gus was indeed scaling the side of the tree.

Fox thought for a second, then hopped on a far branch. He made a great leap, attempting to go from one tree to another. He reached out for a branch, but missed it. He fell to the ground, and landed squarely on his chin instead of his feet.

"OOPHHFF!" he grunted. As he rose to his feet, Gus smacked him square in the back, freezing him in mid-step.

"FREEZE!"

So Nate was caught in a half-oophhffed, half-up pose, waiting for Booey to come by and unfreeze him.

"ONE DOWN, ONE TO GO!" Gus announced to the rest of the forest. Skunk realized Gus was closer than he originally thought.

Skunk hopped out of his hidey-hole and scurried down the trail. Something caught Gus's eye; he turned, only to see a black and white spotted tail disappear behind some bushes.

"Hey! Come back here!" shouted Gus.

Skunk darted off across the low path and Gator chased after him. Booey ran past Nate, who was waiting for Booey to tag him. Booey was too busy trying to not get frozen to worry about Nate.

Booey cut through the Hawthorne bushes and sawgrass. Gus struggled to keep up with Booey. Quickly, he realized he would not catch Booey, because a galloping Gator was certainly no match for a scurrying skunk, and Gus collapsed on the ground in front of Nate, out of breath.

Booey stopped at the top of the ridge and looked down at Gus and Nate (who was investigating Gator for signs of life). Gus was lying on the ground beside him, breathing heavily and looking up into the sky.

"Hey, what's wrong?" Booey called out.

"I think we killed him," said Nate.

"Well, tell him to get up and start chasing me. We don't have time for that."

"Booey, I don't think he's in the mood. Anyway, I'm really getting sick of sitting here doing nothing," said Nate.

"I can't help that," answered Skunk.

"Aw, c'mon," whined Gus, "I'm too tired."

"Yeah, this is boring," added Skunk. So it came to pass that they were sick and tired and bored and once again, they needed something to do.

They gathered around Gus, who was still tired from chasing Skunk. They rested in the middle of the path, waiting for inspiration to hit. Before long, Gus had come up with a new plan for the day.

"Wait just one second, I've got an extraordinary idea. Let's bother Albatross," said Gator, as a devilish gleam crossed his face.

"Yeah, yeah," said Nate. He couldn’t wait to do something new. He was now filled with nervous energy.

"Nooo, ohhh no," said Skunk, "Both of you know we shouldn't be doing this, especially to Albatross," Skunk stopped momentarily, "but what, exactly, are we going to do to him?"

"I'm glad you asked Stinkpot, because I have the perfect idea and it goes like this..."

Gus began to describe his plan to Booey and Nate. Before Gus could finish his plan, Skunk jumped in, "I don't want to bother Albatross; he'll get us in trouble."

"Trouble schmuble," grumbled Gator, "That bird isn't worth his weight in feathers." It was obvious that Gator was up to something, and that something was no good. Gator didn't want to hurt old Albatross, but he did want to have fun with him. He had planned a shower for Albatross. Not the soap and water kind, but the balloon-on-the-head kind.

"...Now what we'll do is get some extra balloons from your mother's cupboard," said Gus as he gathered on his haunches in a pad of dirt, "then we'll fill the balloons with water and drop them on old Albatross' head." He snatched up a stick and started to scrawl a small map on the earth between them.

Skunk interrupted, "I don't think this is such a good idea."

Before Skunk had a chance to say another word, Gator was already off with Nate trailing close behind.

"Wait for me," cried Skunk, who raced to catch up with his friends. They scampered through the woods until they arrived safely at Nate's house. Gator barged in on Kit, who was busy preparing a chicken casserole.

"Hi, Missus Fox," said Gator as he went straight to the oven and the food.

"Oh, Gator, please wait, at least until dinnertime," sighed Kit.

"Aw, come on, I only want one bite," Gator poked his finger into the casserole and pulled it out again, covered in chicken and cheese. He poked his finger into his mouth. When he pulled it out this time, it was clean and green.

His knobby little finger started for the bowl again, but not before Kit slapped his paw with the wooden spoon gripped tightly in her fist. "No!" she commanded.

Gator withdrew his paw and returned to his place at the dinner table.

Kit ladled the casserole onto the children's plates and brought out some wild asparagus and Sassafras tea. Gator quickly gulped down his tea and asked for a second cup.

Kit obliged, and everyone ate to their stomach's content, filling their appetites with chicken, asparagus, dandelion greens, and tea.

"Well," sighed Kit, "what are my heroes doing today?"

"We're going to visit with Albatross," snickered Gator.

"Why on earth would you want to do that?" she asked.

Before Gus could say anything, Nate spoke up. "We're just going near Albatross' house, we're not going to visit him. Don't be silly, Mother."

"That’s okay, as long as you don't bother him any." Nate heard every word his mother said, but ignored her as he snatched up a handful of balloons from the
low cupboard and darted out the door.

"What did he just pull from the cabinet?" Gus and Booey stared blankly at Mother Fox for a moment.

"Gotta go," said Gus.

"Yup, gotta go," echoed Booey. They quickly escaped out the front door before she could ask any more questions. They ran through the thick of the forest, and soon they were well on their way to Albatross' roost.

"Okay, so what are we going to do now?" Nate asked Gus as they paused for a rest under an old Hawthorne tree.

"Can you see Albatross' house from here? It's just beyond that clump of dead trees," said Gator as he pointed out the crooked old tree Albatross called home.

"Now what we need is a diversion," Augustus Gator wrapped his arm comfortably around Skunk's shoulders, "Something that would take Albatross' mind away from a fox and an alligator shimmying up the side of his tree. Can you think of anything?"

Skunk started thinking about what kind of diversion Nate and Gator could be conjuring up, then he realized he was the diversion.

"Oh, no you don't, Gator, there's no way you'll get me to be the bait. I can't do it, I tell ya. I just cannot do it."

"But, Skunk," urged Nate, "everything depends on you and without your help, we'll just have to be let down once again. Just another boring summer day." As Skunk looked at Gator's gloomy face, then back at Nate's, his stomach filled with gray. "Okay, okay already."

"Yippee!" shouted Gator, "Alright then, you're the diversion." Gus, Nate, and Skunk huddled together and came up with a plan.

Before long, Skunk was kicking stones in the dirt pad sitting in front of Albatross' house, trying his best to be a diversion.

"Hey you, what are you doing to my front yard?" shouted Albatross. "Can't you see what you are doing to my beautiful front yard?"

"I'm sorry Sir," apologized the young Skunk as his head hung low, "I didn't mean to...Ouch!" And suddenly, he was hopping around on one foot and holding the other.

"SQUAWK! Look what you're doing to my Azaleas!" shuddered Albatross as knocked Skunk away from his flowerbed. Albatross got down on his knees and stooped over his prized possessions to protect them from Skunk.

"Oh, my dear, dear Azaleas! My poor, poor Azaleas!"

"Omigosh, I'm so sorry," said Skunk, "I didn't mean to hurt your flowers, but I stubbed my..."

"That's the trouble with you kids, you never mean to do anything."

Skunk's head sank between his shoulders and Albatross scowled at him. "I said I'm sorry."

"You youngsters are never sorry about anything. You say you are, but you don't mean it. You and your friends are nothing but trouble. By the way, where are your friends?" he demanded.

Skunk accidentally glanced up at his friends working their way up the tree.
Nate thought he'd been caught and started to come down, but Gator reached down and told Nate that it was too late now and to keep climbing, so up they went.

"Well, are you going to answer me?" demanded Albatross. Gus and Nate made it to a high branch above Albatross and cocked their arms, ready to let loose.

"Here's what we're doing, you old bird!" Gator shouted down to Albatross. Just then, KER-PLUNK, down went a balloon right on top of the bird's head. Albatross started to yell at Gator, but one of Nate's balloons smacked him in the beak.

"Gulp!" Albatross swallowed the balloon whole. Gator and Nate started unloading their arsenal until all were gone, and none were left. Albatross looked up into the tree with a sneer, then down at Skunk.

"You two, up in the tree, come down here, right now." They reluctantly climbed down the tree.

"Alright now, what makes you think it is okay to pick on old people? Why, I never give you any trouble."

They had no answer.

Albatross sniffled, wiped his nose, and then shook most of the water out of his feathers. "Well, I'm going to tell your parents, and then maybe you'll learn your lesson."

Albatross grabbed Gus and Nate by their ears and started toward Nate's house. An unpopped balloon rolled under Albatross' foot and threw him flat on his back. All three immediately hopped off into the woods and ran home.

"Hey you kids! Come back here! I'm going to get...Ah...Ahh...Ahhh...Ahhhh"