On Home Spun Cure-Alls

Amidst the silence of trees gently swaying in the breeze and mother birds feeding baby birds high over head, there was quite a stir within the old Oak tree. Madger Badger and Booey Skunk and Nate Fox and Gus Gator were running to and fro, tending to both Kit and Albatross.
"The first thing I think I need is a spoon," said Madger Badger.
Madger turned to Nate, but Nate was already fetching a spoon from the silver drawer, then Madger motioned for him.
"I'll take that in myself," said Madger. He went into Nate's room, followed by the children.
Albatross was still asleep, so Madger pulled up a stool and sat beside him. He stared at the old bird intently for a few moments, looking for any signs of trouble. Albatross was sleeping like a baby. Madger set his medical bag at the foot of the bed and opened it up. He pulled out an instrument and flipped a small switch. A light came from the top. He poked it into Albatross' ear and looked around. "I think I see some carrots growing in there," he said.
The children giggled. While Madger continued to prod around, Gus began poking around in the medical bag. There were bandages, instruments, tape, gauze, and all sorts of other doctor stuff.
Madger sat back for a moment, scratched his head, and then adjusted his bifocals on his nose. He went back in for another look. Albatross began to come out of his sleep, because he was having this strange dream where Gus was kissing him on the ear and everyone else in the grove was watching. For Albatross, that was quite a frightening dream indeed.
"Ha...ha...what's going on?" he said.
"That is what I am trying to find out," answered Madger, who was still peering into Albatross' ears.
"Do me a favor," demanded Madger, as he rummaged through his pockets for a tongue depressor, "open up and say 'artichokes,' please."
Albatross shifted about uncomfortably, trying to squirm out of an exam.
"Just open up," repeated Madger.
"Yea, just open up," said Skunk, "it won't hurt ya."
At that moment, Augustus Gator found something of interest in the doctor's bag. It was a small hammer. He looked it up and looked it down, then popped it on Albatross' right knee. "Umm...artich...YOWCH!" shouted Albatross.
The old bird sat upright in bed and let out a scream. As he did, Madger jammed one of his tongue depressors into his mouth.
"Can you hold still for a moment?" Madger asked Albatross.
The old bird wheezed uneasily, then gasped again for another breath. Madger looked at him and let out a sigh of his own. Madger sat there for a moment and rubbed his chin thoughtfully as he looked at the old bird.
"Just as I thought," he said. Then he leaned over and whispered something in Nate Fox's ear. Nate's eyes opened wide and then he whispered in Booey's ear. A frightened look came over Booey’s face as well. He leaned over and whispered into Gator's ear.
Gator sat there for a moment, looking at Albatross thoughtfully and rubbing his chin in the same manner as Madger Badger. Gator then said, "Mmmm-hmmm, that was exactly what I was thinking."
The children filed out quickly, and Madger placed a paw on top of the old bird's chest and asked him to take another breath, then repeat. Kit came in with a few garlic cloves and a cup of warm Gingerroot tea.
"Thank you," said Madger, who then put a clove of garlic in each of Albatross' ears. Before Albatross could say anything, Madger gave him a cup of tea to drink. Madger tipped the cup forward, forcing Albatross to drink it all down in a single gulp.
"What's wrong with me?" asked the flustered old bird.
"I think a better question would be, ‘What isn’t wrong with you?’" answered Madger Badger.
Albatross' jaw dropped wide open.
"What can I do?" he asked.
"Well, for starters, you MUST keep those garlic cloves in your ears for the next three days to reduce the pressure on the ear drum," he told the old bird, then Madger stuffed a pillow under each wing.
"And, you have to keep your wings absolutely still, too."
Madger stepped back and looked at Albatross for a moment. "You must also hold these pillows under your wings to reduce wing-fatigue. There, that ought to do, are you feeling better?"
Before Albatross could answer, the old doctor shoved a bunch of pebbles into Albatross' mouth. "I also suggest holding as many pebbles under your tongue as possible until you feel better."
"Ith there anythiff elth??" Albatross said gloomily.
"I almost forgot, but now that you've mentioned it," added Madger, "you need to get yourself into higher altitudes. No intelligent Albatross would find himself so close to the ground. You might catch some horrible disease like botherus verymuchum, which can cause loss of hearing. Have you been having trouble with your hearing lately?"
"Welk, now thaff you menthon it, I doo..."
"Yes, yes, just as I thought. There’s just one more thing," said Madger Badger.
"Yeth?" asked Albatross. The look on the poor bird’s face was almost enough to make Gus feel sorry for Albatross.
"You need to go home right away. You also need to leave Kit alone," ordered Madger.
"Buth I…"
"Now you don’t want Kit coming down with the flu, too, do you?"
As Albatross shook his head no, the stones in his mouth rattled. It sounded as if something had gotten loose inside his head and was rattling around.
Madger quickly motioned for Kit to gather up the kids to escort Albatross back to his roost in the hickory tree.
"Wonth they cath the, um, the terribulthith calculuth?"
"Luckily for us, creatures under two feet tall aren't able to catch it."
"Well, whath abouth you?" asked the old bird.
"Please, don't worry about me. I can see you're getting delirious. Children, hurry up and get him home, before it gets worse."
With that said, the children rushed off, with Nate and Booey on either side and Gator tagging along behind, his arms loaded with all the necessary wares to fight off the germs and viruses that might attack.
"Don't you worry yourself, Albatross," Madger called after them, "I will be up to visit you tomorrow evening. Until then, get rest and try not to move."
Albatross tried to answer, but he was having trouble holding the pebbles in his mouth. He was beginning to feel awful. He couldn't wait to get over his cold.
"Madger, you are absolutely awful," laughed Kit.
"Kit, when you've dealt with him as long as I have, you realize the only remedies are the ones that are sure-fire methods of making a person realize how miserable it is to be sick. Doctors don't have time to mess with an old bird’s imaginary cold."
Kit chuckled as she watched Albatross head home, with a trio of kids in tow.
"Well, all's well that end's well, I guess. How much do I owe you?" asked Kit
"You don't owe me a thing, Kit. Just get yourself some rest so I don't have to wait on you hand and foot like you had to wait on Albatross, and we will be even."
"Will do," she answered.
Madger Badger quickly followed after Albatross and Nate and Booey and Gus. As the good old doctor disappeared through the woods, Kit retreated to the tide pool behind the old Oak tree and soaked her tired, aching body.
"Stoth it!" cried Albatross as Nate tugged on one wing and Booey tugged on the other.
"But we need to get you home as quickly as possible!" said Booey.
"Ow! You’re hurting my wings. Madger said to keep my wings as still as possible," cried Albatross. Gator pushed while Nate pulled, leading the old bird over the bluff and down through the gingerroot patch to Albatross’ house.
"We’d better grab some of these so we can make some more tea," said Nate. He snatched up a handful of gingerroot and brought it along.
They arrived at Albatross’ house and led him inside. They put him in bed and started working on getting him better. Nate brewed up some tea and Gus fetched a new batch of pebbles to replace the old ones in Albatross’ mouth. Meanwhile, Madger Badger was scurrying along, trying to catch up to his assistants.
"Stay still, Albatross!" said Booey as he pushed the pillows under Albatross’ wings and propped his feet up on a stool.
"Wait a second, maybe I shouldn’t prop up your feet," said Booey. He removed the stool and Albatross’ feet fell to the floor with a thud. Albatross felt that he was getting further and further away from being well.
"Alright! I’ve had enough! Would you please let me alone! I am sick and all this attention is making me sicker!" pleaded Albatross. Just then, Madger came in the front door.
"Yes children, maybe you should hurry home. I think I can take care of Albatross from here."
The children obeyed Madger and went out to the tall-grass field and played tag and pirates for pretend until it was time for dinner. Madger took the tea off the stove and sat the tea kettle next to Albatross. He adjusted the pillows just right and settled the old bird down for a nap. As Albatross nodded off, Madger closed the window shutters and quietly made his way out of Albatross’ house and on his way back home. Tomorrow would be a new day with new patients and new illnesses. And tomorrow would come all too quick for everyone as they recovered from Albatross’ illness.